A few years ago, I came across a meme a musician friend had posted on Facebook. It talked about the rules for dating a musician. It was an interesting read about a gig not being a date, and to not expect your significant other to give you their undivided attention. Interacting with the public is part of their job.
Writers, like musicians, have unconventional jobs. We generally don’t work a typical nine to five work week. Many of us have day jobs as well. We oftentimes have to do our writing after hours. Sometimes we have deadlines too. While we very much appreciate your love and support, chances are we won’t be your typical boyfriend or girlfriend. Like musicians, we also have our own dating rules. Most of these rules will also apply if you have a family member who’s an author.
The Rules for Dating a Writer or Author
- Writing is our passion. It is not a hobby.
- Writers and authors are often introverts. Please don’t mistake our quietness for conceit or arrogance.
- Writing is not a performance art. Please allow us the time and space to work on our craft.
- Please don’t quiz us about our works in progress. If we want you to know what we’re working on we’ll be happy to tell you about it. Otherwise, please don’t ask.
- Never, ever look over our shoulders while we’re writing!
- A missed deadline can be a career killer. If we tell you we’re working on a deadline it doesn’t mean we’re trying to avoid you. It means we have a deadline.
- Please don’t tell us you have this great idea for a book unless you’re actually writing it.
- If we want your feedback we’ll ask for it. If we don’t, then please don’t tell us what you think we should be writing.
- Please don’t ask us to make you a character in one of our books.
- A book signing is for engaging with our readers and promoting our books. While we appreciate you wanting to help out, please keep in mind these events may last for several hours, or perhaps all day. It’s okay for you to go out and mingle with the crowd, but please don’t complain about being bored.
- Please don’t brag to your family, friends, or co-workers that you’re dating an author. We’re not trophies.
- Please don’t ask us for free copies of our books for your friends and co-workers.
- Never ask us how much money we made on our last book, or how many books we’ve sold, unless you don’t mind us quizzing you about how much money your boss is paying you.
- We work in an extremely competitive business. We can’t all be as famous as J.K. Rowling of Stephen King. Never confuse talent with fame.
Marina Martindale
Marina Martindale writes and edits all of her blog posts herself. She does not use AI software or images of any kind. No part of this blog may be used or reproduced or transmitted in any form, or used in any matter by AI, without the express written consent Good Oak Press, LLC. Requests for permission must be addressed to Good Oak Press, LLC, P.O. Box 51244, Denton, TX 76206-1244